Updated: Jul 5, 2021
I stand in a new paradigm.
I stand on a new Earth.
Whose rules do I live by now?
What is it all worth?
I have run from myself all my life
for fear I would let me down
since I wasn’t in charge of me
I didn’t know how to be found.
Through loss and pain
I had to stop and look
for the fixer to make me happy
I was told I would find.
It’s me I say to myself, take a closer look
but I couldn’t see who was there.
I couldn’t see beyond the
shadow at my door
My shadow is still standing
at the door patiently
waiting to be recognized
no matter how long she takes.
Why am I here I wonder?
What’s the point?
I wait for the next shoe to drop
waiting, always waiting.
Looking outside has been a habit
I’ve practiced for years
looking for answers to
my questions and fears
Always disappointed by
nobody at my door
with gifts in their arms,
of the relief I’ve been waiting for.
How long can I abide
waiting for someone else
while ignoring my presence
standing at the door.
I’ve turn over boulders,
search around obstacles small and large,
in ashrams and healing centers
trying so hard
In all this time and all my tears
It’s me I’ve been waiting for
Me with my fears and my wants
And my needs in all my humanness
It’s me with my hand raised
and me with my hat
and me with my open arms
Finally, I stop and see past my shadow,
recognizing my familiar sight of
my heart and my thoughts,
holding my steady light
Is this the purpose of our souls on earth?
To walk on this rocky, unpaved path?
Searching outside of our skin
only to find our answers within?
I am a spirit house wherein
my life resides defined by
lessons woven through time
with memories defining my wisdom.
I am the mountain I trust now
holding all of me and the wisdom I’ve gathered
I am at the doorway of my wondering eyes
open arms and gifts that are all inside.
This is the new paradigm that is dawning.
Humanity is holding their doorways open
finding themselves as the resource for
their needs so long unspoken.
from Dancing the Dream
"No matter how far we travel in life, one truth cannot be denied: we always come back to ourselves. We cannot change others, but we can change ourselves and how we view life. There is no limitation to the journey of the human spirit. We will find our own individual paths, and we will always return full circle to our personal truths, even if those truths have changed as our understanding grew. We come into our physical lives to experience the cycles and seasons of human experience, and we move into another circle of nonphysical experience when our bodies die. Tapping the Dream Weave allows us to understand the unseen circles of energy that influence and define our waking experiences, showing us how to come full circle and how to dance the next level of our personal growth cycles."
Thank you for putting those thoughts together this morning. You talked about the shadow. We frequently talk about it. The first thing that came to my mind was what I did with a friend a few days ago. It is so beautiful here in the mountains. The route we took went past a lake. We walked along a bridge and then along the lake. I noticed how beautiful the shadow in the water of the trees was. I’ve tried my hand at watercolors, and to get the image of the shadow of a tree you need to go and actually observe the shadow mirrored in the water. It was just as beautiful looking at the shadow as at the tree. We’ve talked frequently about how much trees have to teach us, but their shadows can teach us as well.
I’m in a chorus and we started singing a new song last night. Singing is such a joy especially these days when everything is so chaotic. The new song’s lyric talks about having affection for each and every soul that I meet. I thought the word should be ‘person’ instead of ‘soul’. And I kept saying person. But in my heart, I realize I am not overflowing with affection for every person I know. I was glad that the songwriter used the word ‘soul’. It’s easier to love a soul.
I loved the word ‘spirit house’. I kept thinking about that and what it means. It’s an amazing thought. I don’t know what it means. I loved the reading, the thought that it all comes back to who I am—being myself, letting go of all these wants that pull myself out of myself, and just be. My therapist once said, “Be a tree.” When I get upset or wanting something, I always come back to that, just be a tree. A tree just stands there, it’s just beautiful. It doesn’t have to do anything, or be anything else, or prove anything—it just is in its beauty. That’s what each person is, that’s what I am. I guess I am being a spirit house.
Thank you. This was wonderful.
Live lightly on the Earth.
We sit in silence in our spirit houses, which we are.
Thank you everyone for your presence. There is such abundance in silence with a buoyed community holding each other in silence. It is so easy to be. Thank you for sharing your sacred time.