Twice in my life I have trained to become a hospice worker
Both times completing the classroom work
on the cusp of assignment, finding I’m not ready
as I continue to heal my losses
The topic of hospice has always amazed me
The power of truth and honesty at the bedside
The humble hearts of those standing
And the power of presence without words
The air is palpable for the imminent transition.
This reverence reminds me of
forest pines on an Autumn day with the wind
in the trees and the silence in the bed beneath
Truth is what I name those moments
a sunrise or sunset
the beauty palpable on my skin
Without words to describe
I have learned through experience
Truth is almost indescribable
Of the presence and power
Simply by being present
The power of truth
Has a resonance I can feel.
The knowing without a doubt
The reverberation of a high note
So many people share with me their experience
after a loved one’s passed
of a moment they notice this resonance
by the visit of life before them.
These visits come out of the blue
My friend Johnny came as a butterfly
My late wife’s passing as a red-tailed hawk
My daughter’s passing as a beautiful rainbow.
Nature communicates with us in many ways
Steadfast always in its smoothness and simplicity
There are no assumptions or inferences
Nature is what it is.
This truth resides in nature
This truth resides in us
Set the intention to look for truth
And there it appears as a gift
I was blessed for 18 years with three toy poodles.
One red, one black, one white.
I used to call them the Neapolitan Pod of Poodles
Gracing us like chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.
These little beings came to me
When I was homebound with a chronic illness.
First one and then the next; two years later we got the third.
Their presence lit up my life, my house, my world.
Truth is the love of a pet
Truth is the experience of nature
Truth is standing in front of a mirror
Feeling love for who I am.
Truth is the goosebumps on my skin
Truth is the lump in my throat
Truth is the no-nonsense approach to communication
Truth is honesty and unconditional love.
I live my life day by day looking for truth,
That spark of divinity that is everywhere
even through Zoom, even through the phone
Even through the written word
Truth is an alignment of heart
It’s a gauge to follow to
Discern choices and options while
Retaining connection to heart
Participants’ Reflections:
Truth. I grew up affected by alcoholism, a disease of denial. I denied the difference between an internal and external world. My truth is different from yours. I liked how you spoke about truth being felt in our bodies. I drank to not feel.
This was very rich writing, with lots of images. Lots of ways truth shows to us. Truth as nature. I’m reminded of the Keats’ poem about “beauty is truth, truth is beauty.” Which comes first. Nature is always beautiful; it is constant, it never disappoints. My husband was in a funk this morning. I worked at staying out of his emotional state: I breathed in beauty, I breathed out stuff. I am realigning my heart, with acceptance and all those positive things. Sometimes I can obtain that positive state, it's all part of the process.
I spent my meditation acknowledging my anxiety instead of denying it. This time, I did not distract myself, but felt it in its discomfort. I breathed through the presence in its discomfort. I believe I will overcome it. I don’t need it anymore.
The safety and love in this group helps us be in truth.
I experienced your writing as sacred text. In hospice, healing occurs because someone is sitting there with the dying person. When I'm ill, I just want someone's presence. No talking. During the meditation, I was aware of everyone's presence here as we sat in silence. Powerful.
Your readings are powerful for me as I listen to them. During the meditation, my head felt frozen from the tragedy that happened. I let cloud thoughts go by. There was one with a positive thought about myself. It was the words ‘good person’. But then I thought, if there’s good, there is bad. I released that and turned to the words ‘I am’. That thought I could stay with. I'm assimilating the teachings and words in a nonlinear way.
Things happen in our lives that break us open. Everything is an opportunity for growth. It’s not fun and it hurts and we learn and we grow. My daughter’s illness broke me open. I wouldn’t be who I am today without that experience.
I am willing – a great affirmation.