Last night in an energy practice circle
I shared my vulnerability
and revealed my doubts
about my inner wisdom
Will my thoughts ever quiet?
Will I continuously
compartmentalize
my skeptical fears?
I yearn to trust my wisdom.
I yearn to sit quiet within.
I ache for recognition
from my center.
I had my mentor’s attention.
The poignant pause at hand until
a participant blurts out
Tell your inner critic to shut up!
I have struggled too long
berated by my inner judge
to keep me small and quiet
and invisible.
Gentleness is the answer
not intimidation or force or neglect.
How do I speak to my inner fear?
Gentleness is the answer.
I answered back as an advocate
for me, the tender seeker
who deserves only love,
respect and above all, tenderness.
My mentor assured me
the battle is normal and
will abate in time as I accept
the truth of my wisdom.
The whole encounter was a few moments
and represented a lifetime
listening and ignoring
inner wisdom and inner fear
I discern my mentor’s wisdom.
I discern another’s opinion.
I weigh what works for me.
I ignore what doesn’t.
Thank you for sharing.
No pushback or glaring.
I’m the gatekeeper of
my inner world.
I choose what works for me.
I write my recipe for love and
respect as I push the walls of
my fearful world out
and take a full breath in
allowing me to break free
from my inner critic
who all along has been
my inner child
head in hands
screaming for safety
comfort and love.
I’m here.
I hear you.
I am safe.
I am free.
Release the harsh and pointed inner voice. it's just a throwback to the past, and holds no truth about this moment.
Let go of self-judgment, the old, learned ways of beating yourself up for each imagined inadequacy.
Allow the dialogue within the mind to grow friendlier, and quiet. Shift out of inner criticism and life suddenly looks very different.
i can say this only because I make the choice a hundred times a day to release the voice that refuses to acknowledge the real me.
What's needed here isn't more prodding toward perfection, but intimacy - seeing clearly, and embracing what I see.
Love, not judgment, sows the seeds of tranquility and change.
Participants' Reflections:
Thank you. Where I went in my meditation was the doorways, the arches, and moving through them. Loving myself, forgiving myself. The difference moving through if I’m coming from love is that it feels like it just melts away. It’s almost like I don’t feel the transition, I’m just there. If I cross through and I’m in a different place, it doesn’t feel the same.
The line that struck me in your writing was about the special recipe that we are in our lives and honoring that. I heard the challenge of moving to the next level in our lives. It made me think of the gumbo we make in the deep South. It always starts with the roux which is light flour and water. You put that in your pot and you have to stir it constantly and consistently and slowly until it turns a certain shade of brown. If you speed it up too fast or turn up the heat, you will scorch it. Your reading made me aware of trusting the journey of my own spiritual development. Not speed it up too fast and take it over with my ego and not let it happen. But let it come to its own maturity slowly and then add the vegetables and seafood. It is a process, and we don’t need to burn it, but to honor it in its own way.
Thank you. I loved the writing and the poem. I loved the line about not prodding oneself into perfection, but being intimate with oneself. I’ve never thought of intimacy with myself. I’m always working on a project, that’s where I like to be. But what would intimacy with myself look like? The closest thing I can think of—I do this hard word daily puzzle and I love the feel of my brain trying to solve this almost impossible problem. It feels like intimacy with myself. I’m going to expand this idea of intimacy with myself more into my day.
One thing that comes up a lot for me in these meditations is how much work should we be doing on ourselves. How much should we push; how much should we yearn; how much should we dream; how much should we envy; how much should we allow; how much should we forgive; how much should we ignore; how much should we forget; how much should we hope; how much should we question. Life is such a balance of trying to get comfortable and be where I want to be.
If I didn’t want what I wanted, I wouldn’t go through the struggle to get it. I used to know what I didn’t want and it was hard to figure out what I wanted. And then letting go of the want. Because when I stop wanting it, that’s when it will show up.
That’s really deep. For me, I want a lot of things. I did a lot of things and was happy. What I had to try to figure out was what made my heart sing. It’s an intricate thing to figure out. The awareness level had to come from my head to know what I wanted that would make my heart sing. It’s a discernment.
Thank you for listening to my words and being present with each other. Zoom allows us to be together no matter where we are location-wise, in our hearts, in our minds. Community is so valuable. I wish you all a gentle day. I looked up the word gentling and there is a definition for it. The idea of gentling ourselves is validated. I hope you all have a gentle day.