Why am I never enough I ask?
Everything I do has a label
I’ve attached
that I lack
I’m not fast enough
I’ll make a mistake
I’m late I’m old
I’m out of date
Right then and there
In the middle of a rant
I grab a pen
And write this chant
Interrupting a rant
Of self-criticism and judgment
Redirects my path
On my terms
A list of ten things
I like about myself
Listing one after the other
While keeping count
I am a great mother
I love to cook
I’m a loyal friend
I love a good book
I am a smart woman
I am healthy
I am courageous
I love to sing
I am strong
And finally the tenth
I say feeling better
I am a seeker of truth
Of which I am proud
This list of ten things
I love about myself
Redirects my mind
On a path that helps
This interruption of my rants
Helps to rewrite my brain
rewire my habits
A way to refrain
From criticizing and demeaning
And bullying myself
It’s an action
that does really help
I have learned from my past
I am much more amenable
To actions of self-love
Instead of bullying
And when I step back
And think about the reasons I rant
It’s really from fear of
Being wrong and Feeling lack
So I give to myself
What I really want
Which are words of loving
Kindness and respect
Gifts I can call up on will
Which eases my discomfort
Reassures me I am okay
As I approach my day
PARTICIPANTS’ REFLECTIONS:
For the first seven minutes of the meditation, my skin crawls with not wanting to do it. And then I calm down and am in the moment. As a start to meditate, I look for that transition. Currently, it isn’t happening immediately, and I won’t give up.
Thank you for your commitment. A practice means lots of things: showing up, working at a discipline, making a commitment to oneself and to the group. Every night as I go to bed, I sit down and write out a gratitude list, three good words about myself, three things I am working on on myself. If I can’t think of anything to write, I call a friend.
I have felt at odds with myself for a while. Should I meditate in silence or with music? I give myself permission to change my mind. I’m observing myself. Lately, I look at this meditation time as a fifteen-minute self-help session. I try to list good things about myself. Today, I focused on being a good friend. I’ve looked for external validation of this and I do get validation. That's okay. Where is the internal work? Today, I realized that I worked for those friends, and they are giving me back what I gave them.
That is good awareness. We all deserve a supportive community
My biggest lesson has been to learn that spiritual growth is not achieved necessarily by doing it alone. I am learning about connection. We need each other. This is not about slogging on alone. Opening up to others is good for our growth.
I am reminded of a movie “Love Happens.” The main character wrote a self-help book and helps others. But he has his own demons to face. We struggle with things and judge ourselves. It is helpful to be kind to ourselves and to each other. I just told myself that I am ranting. I choose to believe I didn’t rant.
That’s why they call this a meditation practice; and not a meditation perfect
Friends are noticing I am more relaxed. So am I noticing that. It is due to this meditation practice.
I encourage people to write 10 good things about yourself.
I learned this ’10 good things’ idea from my sponsor. Whenever I said something negative about myself, I stopped and wrote out the list. I carried a small pad of paper around with me. I wound up reprogramming my brain away from the negative admonishments I learned as a child. I still do it verbally.
Try writing 100 good things about yourself. You get beyond the big obvious ones and get to the microscopic things. It’s quite an experience.
I heard about resistance to things. It’s a good practice to observe that. I need simple things. Simple is easy. At night, I write out the ‘Four Gs’: one thing I am grateful for, one thing that is good, one goal, one glitch.
Talk about gratitude. I went to the supermarket this morning and found unbleached flour on the shelves. I was joyful and I kicked up my heels. The clerk said ‘it’s been here all week.’ I said, ‘I haven’t.’