Hope is Surrender
By Shirley Riga
I learned something about myself last night
I won’t use a shopping service ever again
I care deeply for my food choices
Otherwise I am in pain
I care deeply about my space
Otherwise I am in pain
I care deeply about my safety
Otherwise I’m in pain
I care deeply for my time
Otherwise I’m in pain
Pain is my motivator
Pain is a global motivator
Discomfort results in change
Discomfort gets my attention
The more I connect to my heart
The deeper I feel
My heart bumps up against my pain
I weigh my choices
As I have weighed for years
In 1999 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia
I resisted my pain and my limitations
I resisted my differences
I resisted and fought for normal
Pain is my motivator
My resistance worsened my condition
I hardened my fight
I demanded my health
Until I cracked
The crack widened
I was 100% disabled unable to move
My couch was my safe haven
My pain abated by my stillness
My tears dried by my surrender
I gave up
My surrender held boundaries of hope
My surrender lessened pain
My surrender lit next steps
Time is faster now
The pain that has been building
On our planet is palpable
Our collective body has cracked
Our collective body is immobilized
Our collective body is in pain
Our collective body must surrender
To the hope within our boundaries
To the beauty in our communities
To the light within our souls
PARTICIPANTS’ REFLECTIONS:
What struck me in the reading is that we are a collective body. It’s been raining, and the rain is an equalizer, a cleansing thing.
I heard the words “battling the disorder by resting.” In this pandemic state, people are resting and making connections. It’s that image of the Earth lying fallow for 7 years. We have regeneration. Sometimes it's just resting that helps the body to heal.
Reading very touching for me. Pain has been a motivator. I've resisted pain. Surrender lessened your pain. I was taught to fix things. I have to surrender my pain. Thank you
Now after all this time meditating, it amazes me how easy it has become.
Thank you for reminder of surrender. I wanted to be further along in my project and I have a choice to either beat myself up or to surrender into the joy of what I have accomplished.
Negative thoughts create pain. I'm letting go of them. Thank you for the reminder.
What I resist, persists. I used to live in pain all the time. Then I learned to let go to god. Eckhart Tolle talks about the pain body. Even thinking of pain causes me anguish, so it’s my choice what I do with it. I used to believe in the phrase “no pain, no gain”. I was a crisis junkie. Today, I relish the peace I have.
Tomorrow is the pagan holiday Beltaine. It’s a time to show love. In old days, jumping fires in joy. Try to imagine self as flower in baskets