For four appointments I drove through LA traffic
To meet with a specialist who designed
A wig for me to hide my thinning hair
she helps celebrities who have the same problem
She has a heart of gold and a skill set
Using yak and human hair to create
The illusion of a genuine head of hair
it was my solution for my fight to belong
I could recount a list of many more
Traits I wish I could have a do over on
As I’m sure we all can.
Where did we lose the way of viewing
Our individuality as a gift rather than a curse?
I bought into the judgment
And condemned myself into action
I believe we’re creating a tipping point
For standing up with our differences
And speaking up for what is right
And using our voice for the oppression
I want to share this poem by Laura Hershey who is nationally recognized for her activism and advocacy on a wide range of disability rights and social justice issues.
YOU GET PROUD BY PRACTICING
If you are not proud
For who you are, for what you say, for how you look;
If every time you stop
To think of yourself, you do not see yourself glowing
With golden light; do not, therefore, give up on yourself,
You can get proud.
You do not need
A better body, a purer spirit or a Ph.D.
To be proud.
You do not need
A lot of money, a handsome boyfriend or a nice car.
You do not need
To be able to walk or see or hear
Or use big, complicated words
Or do any of those things that you just can’t do
To be proud. A caseworker
Cannot make you proud
Or a doctor.
You only need more practice.
You get proud by practicing.
There are many many ways to get proud
You can try riding a horse, or skiing on one leg
Or playing guitar,
And do well or not so well,
And be glad you tried
Either way.
You can show
Something you’ve made
To someone you respect
And be happy with it no matter
What they say.
You can say
What you think, though you know
Other people do not think the same way, and you can
Keep saying it, even if they tell you
You are crazy.
You can add your voice
All night to the voices
Of a hundred and fifty others
In a circle
Around a jailhouse
Where your brothers and sisters are being held
For blocking buses with no lifts
Or you can be one of the ones
Inside the jailhouse
Knowing of the circle outside.
You can speak your love
To a friend
Without fear.
You can find someone who will listen to you
Without judging you or doubting you or being
Afraid of you.
And let you hear yourself perhaps
For the very first time.
These are all ways
Of getting proud.
None of them
Are easy, but all of them
Are possible. You can do all of these things
Or just one of them again and again
You get proud
By practicing.
Power makes you proud, and power
Comes in many fine forms
Supple and rich as butterfly wings.
It is music
When you practice opening your mouth
And liking what you hear
Because it is the sound of your own
True voice.
It is sunlight
When you practice seeing
Strength and beauty in everyone
Including yourself.
It is dance
When you practice knowing
That what you do
And the way you do it
Is the right way for you
And cannot be called wrong.
All these hold
More power than weapons or money
Or lies.
All these practices bring power, and power
Makes you proud.
You get proud
By practicing.
Remember, you weren’t the one
Who made you ashamed,
But you are the one
Who can make you proud.
Just practice,
Practice until you get proud, and once you are proud,
Keep practicing so you won’t forget.
You get proud
By practicing.
Participants’ Reflections:
I have a soul collage card that speaks to power and self compassion. One woman is hugging herself, the other is in a power pose. I am proud giving myself compassion and self-care. These thoughts all fell into place.
As I read the Laura Hershey poem, I felt myself sitting up straighter and my voice getting stronger. That’s the power of words.
I learned I was dyslexic in my 40s. After a while, I learned to embrace it and was okay with it and could share easily about it. Embracing that part of me was a struggle but it helped me to do so.
That was a wonderful poem. As I grew up, I don’t remember anyone saying they were proud of me. If I have pride in something, am I taking too much credit? One day, I came home after a hard, exhausting day. I saw an earthworm, barely alive. I tried to help it, and finally was able to dig a small hole for it and put water in it. I wouldn't want to be in that situation that that earthworm was in. I could be proud of that.
That was a good reading. I had a situation yesterday where another person had lots of bulldozer energy. I was uncomfortable and I asked myself what is that person doing to trigger me. During the meditation, I was proud that I had that awareness and can now think of choices.
I’m in many situations where I feel that I don’t fit in, because others are smarter or faster or more profound. Comparing is normal. Maybe because I have a twin sister who was good at drawing. No one wanted to look at my accomplishments. Good to hear everyone. It’s good to stay in the positive, even if I am uncomfortable.
I learned to not put myself in the audience. When I shared something personal recently and worried about the reaction, I put myself in the audience, sitting on their laps, listening for murmurs of judgement. When I realized it, I got myself out of the audience. It takes energy, it’s not fun.
I grew up in a fundamentalist church where pride is a sin. Practicing pride is novel for me. It confused me the difference between being proud vs personal pride
Confusion is good. Confusion comes when we are up against core beliefs, learning that some core beliefs need to change.
Bragging vs being proud. It’s in the intention
I said to my sons “I'm proud of you, I’m proud with you.”
Changing one word is a whole other feeling