Standing on the rim of May ready to jump into June of 2021, I’m in awe looking back. We just survived a year like no other which will be memorialized in textbooks and other historical works. From an eagle’s view, we humans weathered a tsunami breaking us open. Our hearts were uncovered and using free will, some of us picked up the pieces and others blamed others for their pain. It’s a choice.
I understand myself more by living through the year. Life has certainly got my attention. I’m impressed with my problem-solving skills on how I made do with what was available. I have a deeper trust in myself.
I’m remembering 20 years back newly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and exhausted from the fight of denial. My body turned against me and I was cornered. No refuge to turn to, no distraction but untenable pain, I surrendered. I felt defeated. I gave up.
I’m remembering 40 years back lying on my kitchen floor deeply sobbing, newly divorced and exhausted from fighting. My ex-husband just left with my children and I was cornered and defeated. I was alone, no distraction but the untenable pain. I surrendered in a puddle of snot on the floor and gave up.
I’ll never forget these turning points in my life. Situations that held so much hurt and despair. And I survived against my mind screaming my demise. Sometimes the worst situations in life can hold the greatest learnings all at a cost beyond understanding.
I see now each turning point held a familiar thread. In my despair, bottom-of-the-barrel position, I found me. The me beyond motherhood, beyond wife, beyond friend, beyond career, beyond family member. Each turning point led me back to me with a giant blinking neon arrow.
Wisdom whispers and it’s hard to hear among the cacophony of life. No one is without the wisdom. Everyone has pain and despair. Sometimes the walls are so thick protecting the tender heart, it takes a mountain of hurt to open - all orchestrated in a symphony written beyond the brain’s understanding. All intended for our highest and best good.
Like a wall of mirrors, duplicated images of wisdom whispers in each one of us as we live with our trials and tribulations. The same cacophony; the same despair; the same walls; the same tsunami; the tender heart and the understanding. Different faces, different stories, different endings, all orchestrated for our highest and best good.
The ultimate discovery always comes back to the essence of who we are, our deepest place tenderly hidden inside. We come home to ourselves. We were always there. Life is the sickle that forges through the jungle revealing the truth lesson by lesson all geared towards finding our inner, tender heart.
We face our struggles and worries and losses and pain. Life keeps going. Awareness helps remind us we are more than the jungle. We are more than the sickle. We are one with it all.
Be like the eagle. With wisdom in your lofty gaze, I invite you to lean back just for a second into the arms of your true essence. You are real. You are alive. You are worthy. You are magnificent.
Participants' Reflections:
Thank you. I only heard the last paragraph of what you said. I heard soaring eagle and magnificent. I looked up at a trophy I have with an eagle soaring on it and it says ‘dare to soar’ and ‘a total commitment to excellence is paramount to reaching the ultimate in performance.’ It is my magnificence, not excellence. I made the mistake of equating excellence with perfection. So if I am soaring as a total commitment to my magnificence, that’s a whole different thing than what is on this award I got in the past. I’m going forward into the future with celebrating and being committed to my magnificence.
Thank you. That was very, very powerful what you wrote about turning points. I remember the strongest turning point in my life where I realized I was no longer able to do life my way because my way wasn’t working. I was at my bottom and I had to give in and give up and find a new way to live. It opened up my whole life, even though it was so painful, to a new way of thinking. We struggle with turning points and it is about acceptance. Today is the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre and it should have been a turning point in the country’s life but it was glossed over and hidden. It highlights the fact that potential turning points need to be acknowledged, and the energy has to be expended to make them meaningful and an opportunity for learning a lesson and gaining wisdom. I hope something does happen as a result of today’s awareness.
Thank you for the reading. From that moment of despair on the floor, you were able to pivot. And as horrific as things may seem at a time, there is always that potential. Sadly, we have to remember the people who didn’t make the pivot and were lost to us. It is remarkable what you have done.
The people who didn’t make the pivot in life, they had another pivot. And we may not know the details, it is yet another pivot. I keep that in mind.
Thank you for this reading. The phrases that stood out for me were surrender, defeated, giving up, turning point, and wall of mirrors. I thought when in my life did I give up? I gave up on being married. I married young and eventually realized I was attracted to women. But I had young children and I chose family and I closed the door. Years later, I looked in the mirror and saw a fake. I was living a script, pretending. I was looking old. I gave up on the marriage and it was a new beginning for both of us. Now when I look in the mirror, I see a person continually evolving. I don’t see a fake. Thank you.
Thank you. That was a beautiful sharing. Two strong images came up for me. The Rumi poem about the guesthouse. Welcome whoever comes. That’s difficult to do but I believe that. I think it’s wisdom. Everything that comes is a lesson for growth. That was helpful for me. The other piece that came for me was about archery. I have a bow and arrow, and I love archery. That moment when I am centered and balanced and focused and I let go of that arrow—if I’m in the right space, it hits the target. That’s a good image for me to hold onto as far as my intention and where those arrows land.
Great image, for balance, for centering, for intention. Thank you.
Thank you. This sounds negative but it’s the truth. You talked about how we’ve survived a year of the pandemic. I don’t feel like the pandemic is over because people are still suffering around the world. For me, it’s just another danger for me and my family member. Like chemicals are, like molds, like scents. These impact us. It’s a constant barrage. It’s a hard and fearful way to live because I don’t have control over it. And it’s just getting worse. I don’t like the way it is and I don’t know how to change it. It’s a sad reality constantly living under a threat. It makes me feel more isolated and alone because so few people understand it or are living with it. Just smell something or touch something and it can make me really sick and not just for a moment. I look out the window and see a branch with raindrops falling on it. That’s a refuge, moments like these, filling my heart.
I went to a family gathering and I decided to make the best of it. There’s a lot of drama. About 18 of us stood in the kitchen waiting for the last to arrive. I sensed the air was filled with unease but I didn’t let it become a part of me. I realized how solid I am within and I sought refuge within. Then I had a thought, how I wanted to bring the spring flowers into the open. So I started asking people how they are. Not just a plastic hello, but as a really deep question. I was almost aggressive about it, although it didn’t feel that way. After I had talked to about half of them, people were smiling and I felt the uneasiness and heaviness lifting from everyone. I think it behooves everyone to remember that everyone we come into contact with has gone through their own puddles. We can let that puddle drown us inside and maybe a smile, a presence, or a flower can help the puddle go away. When I reflected later, I was wondering if I was cocky. But it felt more like a softness I wanted to spread and it felt good. I think this came from each one of you, so thank you.
Thank you for sharing that. Some people would call you an energy worker. You were aware of your own solidness and felt the energy lacking, and envisioned the change. You brought authenticity into that group circle.
That’s neat. I think it explains what happens here. When we all talk and share authentically, the highs, the lows, the energy shifts and changes. It is truth in action.
Thank you for your reading and thank you all for sharing. It boosted me. I saved a bug this morning and had to coax it off the paper towel. I told it ‘bug, you are on this paper towel and there’s a whole world out there.’ And I laughed at myself thinking I’m talking to myself. Then I saw two eagles overhead soaring. I appreciated the whole metaphor this morning.
Thank you. Thank you for listening to my words. I don’t know where I’m going when I write in the morning. The first words I heard were ‘wisdom whispers.’ It’s the idea of the wisdom within us so quiet and unassuming and constantly there. We open it by living life and it’s hard. It’s a wonderful awareness, especially when we feel ourselves so full and it brims over beyond the saucer and then we can share it. We share it here. I hope you all have a gentle, aware day. And look up to the sky once in a while and get that bird’s eye view because there is more to it than what we see with our eyes.