Week 97 - Sitting in the Power

Life Journey

I climb up to a bird’s eye view of my life and watch in wonder the seven-month journey I have been on with therapy. And then I remind myself this short journey is just part of a two-and-a-half-year journey that commenced in May of 2025 when I had a life-changing experience in mediumship that I am still processing.

I used to wish for my ego to disappear so I could only be with my Higher Self. I have since accepted the fact that my ego is not going anywhere. In fact, I continue to learn and believe, the goal is for my ego to merge with my Higher Self and we exist in duality. That is true enlightenment. I am working on accepting this idea, but sometimes I wish my ego with all its opinions, fears, warnings and memories would just go away and leave me alone. It persists.

Life is a journey.  

I was curious the other day and figured out in my lifetime how many years I have been pursuing peace of mind, self-acceptance, happiness and understanding.

·       Understanding mediumship – 38 years

·       Concentrating on my personal growth – 43 years

·       Focusing on my health – 27 years

·       Honing my skills as a healer – 12 years

·       Inspirational writing – 31 years

I can easily list all my struggles, traumas and losses and that list would probably be longer, but how will that help? It would only focus me on a more negative view of my life. I work hard enough finding the little nuggets of good -- which defines a value I hold. Nuggets of good in a life journey.

A friend of mine often says he has less years in front of him than behind him. Sounds mournful but it is a truth. I do not know how long I am walking in this body on this Earth. I do know there is a reason why I am here. There is a reason why you are here.

We learn. We feel. We cope. We persist as we define our values. We problem solve. We love. We thrive in community as best we can. We practice self-care which changes as we age. We journey.

I have brought my attention closer to my internal boundaries this week, only to discover old ways of coping are not serving me as the adult I am. Childhood struggles built internal boundaries and values that are out of date, stuck in a time when I was disempowered. I am a work in progress. My inner voice can destroy all I aim for so easily if I allow her full reign on my inner world.

In truth, my internal boundaries were erected to keep me safe when I was nine years old. She still wants to keep me safe and now the iron walls are inhibiting my adulthood. This week I began voicing out loud to my inner self that I understand she wants me to be safe like my adult does. We are on the same side of the table and want the same things.

So I am teaching my fearful, inner essence of me that I have my back. Be patient and we will trust together.