Week 112 - Sitting in the Power

Internal Boundaries

Photo credit - Andre Mouton

We are living in an incredibly challenging world, both outside and inside. Change is all around me. As I age, my body is changing. My emotions are challenged as I continue to process past trauma while embracing a new me.

I have developed a lifetime of habits and behaviors that have helped me cope with stress and anxiety and those habits and behaviors are changing.

I hold a heightened awareness of a ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ feeling that seems to be hanging over my head and most people that I talk to say the same thing.

Life is challenging.

As the days tick by, I realize how so very important the word “boundary” is in this world. Generations of wounded people move in the world with questionable boundaries. A key to my grounded functioning is to practice healthy boundaries. Boundaries about what I share with others. Boundaries of my body in space. Boundaries of my emotions and how I take care of me.

Most important of all though, was coming to terms with my internal boundaries. I have been benefitting from the wisdom of Terri Cole, the Boundary Boss. She offers a workbook to explore boundaries within.

“Internal boundaries are the boundaries you set within yourself. They represent effective management of your thoughts, emotions, time and behavior. They directly reflect the health of your relationship with yourself. Disordered internal boundaries might show up as procrastination, not following through on your word to yourself or others, an excess of negative self-talk, and not taking good physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental care of yourself.”

“When you have healthy internal boundaries, you can consistently rely on yourself to do what you say you’re going to do. Choosing not to abandon yourself (or damage your relationships) not only strengthens your internal boundaries, but also builds your self-esteem.”

I can relate. I trust myself so I won’t eat poisonous food or walk in front of a truck. But when I am triggered from some outside situation, I find myself running and hiding from me.

I recently discovered when I am challenged with a situation that triggers my fear, I can easily pretend I am not scared and act as if I am in control. Do I use my voice and disagree? Do I change my action and blatantly show I am going against the flow of a situation? Sometimes not.

I am slowly realizing by not standing up for myself, I am literally trouncing over my internal boundary to take care of me. My inner child certainly can’t rise to the occasion because she has fled. It is up to the adult in me, and if I am believing I cannot handle whatever is up, then who is driving the bus?

So the next time you find yourself saying yes to a situation you would rather say no to, think again. You deserve to be truthful with yourself. Others will deal with it.

“I am worthy and deserving of setting and maintaining my boundaries.”

“Every day I’m more clear about the boundaries that best serve me.”

“I speak my truth with ease, grace and courage.”

“I set boundaries with kindness and ease.”

“I speak my needs unapologetically.”