Week 91 - Sitting in the Power

How Safe Are You?

My wife, Thea and I moved into The Pryde about a year and a half ago. The Pryde is the first affordable LGBTQ+-affirming housing in the State of Massachusetts. We live in the village of Hyde Park in the City of Boston among people striving to belong, survive and thrive.

I know how it feels to be objectified as a woman, as a lesbian, and as a victim. I also know how my sense of self-worth is whittled away when I feel fear, believe I am less than and othered for being different, for being objectified and for being victimized.

At times I experience extreme anxiety and depression. I am victimized by the worst predator in my life. That predator being my ego, communicating at me with negative self-talk. My practice of sitting in silence has helped me listen within and discover and uncover how I speak to myself holds an incredible amount of my personal power.

Our life journeys are both an inside and outside job. We learn as we mature into adulthood and create a living, raise a family if we choose and hopefully age well into our later years. We hope to find love, be part of a community and find deeper meaning to our life.  We all do the best we can. And we all know life happens and challenges are always present.

Life is harder when our egos have a critical opinion on everything, judging our inner thoughts, actions and deeds. We wind up comparing, competing and struggling with our self-worth. Most of us were never made aware of the effect this critical inner voice can have on our sense of self. I certainly was never made aware until a catastrophe opened my eyes.

On the other hand, when I began redefining my inner dialogue, I found the better I feel about myself inside and out, the more present I can be in this world of change.

So imagine for a moment and ponder this question, “How safe are you?”  I am not meaning your safety in the world against harm. I mean how safe a person are you if another sentient being who has been objectified, traumatized, victimized or targeted, approaches you for support, guidance, solace or a shoulder to lean on? How much of you can be present without judgment?

The first principle of the Unitarian Universalism is to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. This is no lightweight assertion, and can be quite difficult, especially when it comes to certain people. Even when we believe it, in the heat of the moment, it is easy to forget.

This world as we know it, continues to break down from a system that has been in place for centuries. How one identifies themselves changes every day. An individual’s sexual orientation is independent of their gender identity.

Young people are clamoring to capture their individual identity with this “anything goes” time in the world. Elders like me hopefully are open-minded enough to navigate this world without cringing at the “anything-goes attitude” because in a sense in the past, we struggled in a similar way in a world that was heavily defined by the patriarchy. 

News flash, the patriarchy is gasping its last breath and people are pushing beyond the boundaries.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where you are witnessing another sentient individual being mistreated and judged by their appearance, their gender choice, their individuality, will you come across as a safe individual to help?