Week 53 - Sitting in the Power

Circular Patterns

Today we begin Week 53. We have been Sitting in our Power together, once a week for a year. Congratulations!

This meditation practice is successful, even if you show up now and then. The key to any practice is to remember to come back to it. Not give up!

I have been managing my anxiety for years now and sometimes I still lose control.

I have been managing my fibromyalgia for years now and occasionally have enough pain to believe I’m regressing.

I have been managing my grief as it lessens year by year. Grief will never leave me. It’s more of a companion at this point remembering it will visit again.

So far, I am managing my aging and it’s not easy. Especially when I have a grandchild asking about the funky hairs on my chin or when my eagerness to play is impeded by my stiffness.

I manage my life, holding my center, because I will lose my center and find it again. Over and Over.

It hurts my heart to witness someone struggling as they manage their challenges. It’s painful to be the helpless observer. I have been there. I’d rather be in control and call the shots instead in the passenger seat watching it all unfold. If only they would do what I suggest, then my discomfort would ease.

I think of a steady pendulum in my familiar routines. And then I think how it swings wildly as I face new situations, suffer through the challenge until I understand, accept and find my rhythm again. Sometimes the challenges can go on for years. They will change.

Patterns play out over time from the onset, then reactions including denial, anger, kicking and screaming, and finally the releasing and reaping of the learning from the challenge as acceptance dawns.

This repeating pattern became apparent when living through the years with my chronically-ill daughter as well as the work with therapists as I uncovered layers of pain.

The pattern of being out of control, learning through the chaos, making adaptations and ultimately reflecting and accepting is a life journey.

It’s a circular journey with circular rhythms, like breathing in and out, sunrise and sunset, ebb and flow.

Our observer self is present all the time. Practicing silence allows our Inner Wisdom to emerge. Our observer never abandons us. Our observer is constantly patient with unconditional love. Our observer offers us another perspective, a quiet respectful presence that is omni-directional, a bird’s eye view, an expansive view of life. Our only job is to gift ourselves the space for it to emerge. If our inner voice is screaming at us, it is our ego!

Connecting with our Inner Wisdom is like finding the perfect friend who never judges, is always there, and loves us unconditionally. What better friend to have than our Inner Wisdom.