Shirley Riga
Apr 23, 20215 min
Updated: Apr 26, 2021
I'm spending time with my grandchildren these past few days and I’m having fun. Curious eyes, curious hearts and minds, I answer many questions about why I do what I do. I hear my grandson read, “I love and accept myself” an affirmation hung several places on my walls. They are learning on all levels at all times. I surround them with love and healthy boundaries. Little does he know the message recited by him is powerful on many levels.
I meet them as their Nona and I am more.
I am easy on myself. I am easy on them. This is about joy. My child within comes alive with their giggles. I let go of outcomes and be in the moment, all in the name of love and acceptance.
This Day We Say Grateful
A Sending Blessing by Jan Richardson
A Sending Blessing by Jan Richardson
It is a strange thing
to be so bound
and so released
all in the same moment,
to feel the heart
open wide
and wider still
even as it turns
to take its leave.
On this day,
let us say
this is simply the way
love moves
in its ceaseless spiraling,
turning us toward
one another,
then sending us
into what waits for us
with arms open wide to us
in welcome
and in hope.
On this day,
in this place
where you have
poured yourself out,
where you have been
emptied
and filled
and emptied again,
may you be aware
more than ever
of what your heart
has opened to
here,
what it has tended
and welcomed
here,
where it has broken
in love and in grief,
where it has given
and received blessing
in the unfathomable mystery
that moves us,
undoes us,
and remakes us
finally
for joy.
This day
may you know
this joy
in full measure.
This day
may you know
this blessing
that gathers you in
and sends you forth
but will not
forget you.
O hear us
as this day
we say
grace;
this day
we say
grateful;
this day
we say
blessing;
this day
we release you
in God’s keeping
and hold you
in gladness
and love.
Participants’ Reflections:
Thank you for that uplifting reading! Here's to a day full of sun, ease for you all.
I am not a grandparent yet. I was taken with your role of Nona. That’s an identity that you gained in elderhood and I’m looking forward to it. I was in an Aging as a Spiritual Practice and they asked us to identify two roles we no longer identify with and two new identities. The ones that I let go of were daughter because both of my parents have passed on, and parent as child raiser, as both my children are adults. A new one is the essence of who I am. That one is a lot stronger now than when I was so busy raising kids. And the other is facilitator. It was fun to think about that because, during different stages in our life, different identities are more important than others. You are so blessed. I was thinking of grandparents being similar to being with their kids. You aren’t responsible for raising those grandchildren, you are responsible for loving them and delighting in them. You set the boundaries at the beginning, and they want to be there and they want to enjoy it. They know you are not the parent. It’s delightful. At least that’s what it looks like to me from the outside.
It certainly has me reflecting back to how things were and it brings up a lot of sadness and anger, and also pulling myself back into the present moment. It’s all those things. It’s amazing how we survive what we survive. Thanks.
I’m at a threshold where I am owning more of who I am at this stage than I used to, and I’m still feeling like I am standing on one side or the other with that, and struggling with accepting it. I’m working on some kind of ritual where I can own who I am and be present with who I am now instead of holding regrets and holding fears about the future. I want to own it. Using ritual is a powerful thing and doing it with an intention. That is my goal.
I really appreciated the joy you are feeling having your grandchildren there. It gives me joy. I’m not a grandparent either. My children have dogs, not children. I am excited that the dogs are coming to visit. I can’t imagine the excitement when human grandchildren visit. So thank you for that. I appreciated hearing your enthusiasm and joy. The other thing that came up during the meditation is joy. A friend asked my how my week’s been going and I told her that I’ve been feeling so much joy. Thank you all for this space for that. I realize that I spend a lot of time grasping at who and what I am not. Oh, I should be doing that or that. And this week, I have really allowed myself to play and to be myself. It has been joyful. I attribute that to this space. Thank you.
When I was a parent, I was very much not things. I’ve moved across the spectrum now. As a grandparent, I experience balance. I am in the middle. I have the luxury and responsibility of passing on values and being a bridge to them. It’s a wonderful role.
It’s amazing how we work at not being things that don’t agree with us. And eventually, as you say, balance as we find what works and start owning it. The wisdom of time.
I have many grandchildren. One of the most amazing things I’ve learned is that love expands in an amazing way. And that my ego was not involved in that love. The love is becoming a universal love for all children. Having your ego not attached is really great.
It’s good when the ego gets worn out and takes a break because it’s constantly there.
I don’t know if I will have grandchildren. What jumped out at me was your grandson reading the affirmation. Look what you are doing and at such an early age. It’s a wonderful treasure.
I felt that the affirmation signs are doing the work without me having to say anything. I have another sign ‘Hello divine I am hello’ And he kept reading it and repeating it. He thought it didn’t make sense but kept repeating it. The words were doing their job without his understanding them.
Thank you. Thank you for joining me. As much as I love this, I love my space and routine and feeling safe in what I know. Having it interrupted is a little hard and I know that it’s important. I know I’ll get my space back and I know I am safe and I am happy. With all that, I hope you all have a gentle day. Awareness is the key to everything and it helps us grow into what we know we want to grow into and it helps us let go of what we want to let go of. Thank you. Have a blessed day.